This is a story about TRIGGERS –
The moments when something is experienced and you react in a similar pattern to a previous moment or experience without any thought or notion as to why.
I have been quiet for a couple of weeks – but I have had to get myself back into the right headspace, and thought sharing would help that process.
It has been a challenge, and it has been annoying and it has been the awareness of a LITTLE TRIGGER that has been the thing that I had to work through.
Hang on this could be a lengthy moment you may want to grab a cuppa or a cold one if you are keen to hear what I am about to share today, but I will keep as short as I can.
The reason I wanted to share the last few months with you is that I know I have people on this page that need me to share this.
When I do it helps you to feel like life is normal, although strained and sometimes moments of scary as well.
Mind you I am not one to share the raw and real emotional moments often, but when you tell me that what I have shared makes a difference in your day. You will get it.
Since Feb it has been a little challenging time for us –
We have kept on our toes and I have been filling every last spot I can engage in my business until last Sunday when I hit a huge wall, huge concrete heavy duty wall (as in the proverbial wall LOL).
The reason I have been making my calendar explode with BUSY BUSINESS and not leaving time for any real ME time – family time – mindful time – yoga time (with the amazing Helen @Zen Balance) – time means awareness and awareness means getting in touch with how I am feeling, sharing that I am not fully OK, and when I do – for me it becomes fear yeap FEAR.
No not the business FEAR – this is FEAR of life when I am not in control, how if I really sit with myself I am going to find that I am sitting in the pit of a TRIGGER and unable to DETACH. My throat shuts down and I have no idea how to share that I am not OK or on top of everything – because I am not good at being – not good. So I continue in a false state for the world to see an illusion.
It can be a scary fear when you are unable to CONTROL an outcome. when you think you are in control of most things.
WHY – you may ask and yes, I am going to share, cos some of you need to know this.
In February my awesomeness hubby went for a routine skin check.
No thought about it, he had one only 3 months earlier and had a large lump removed and yes, we got the all-clear. I did not ever think that he would get any other result – not a single thought really. So not even concerned I was away working when he had it done, he had this – not going to manifest anything other than we got this.
So, at his next check – not even concerned again – we got this, it was a routine check.
A few weeks later I asked how he got on with his results – oh must check that – a few days later I got a call from the surgery.
Well – this call stopped me, and I mean stopped me. In reality though it should not have had the impact it did really, and I wondered on the strangeness of the impact.
Yes, we had news that the routine check had come back as Melanoma.
Now this in itself is not so much shocking news as today so many of these calls are made to so many people.
But without even being aware of why – when I told Rob that night, I was TRIGGERED and triggered hard.
THE TRIGGER – remembering the day I was with my Dad and he got the news that melanoma was the little gremlin behind the reason we were going to lose him. The day that we were told that we had a short time left and no treatment options.
That trigger knocked me straight in the chest like a bolt of lightning. Even as a reasonably intelligent woman and with the training I have you would think that I was not going to get caught by surprise with this.
The TRIGGER was so strong I had imagined myself in that same chair but not with Dad this time with Rob. What must Rob now be thinking?
WHAT THE Fxxx!!!
We got the call together and the appointment made – it needed to be out NOW. It was all happening so fast.
Luckily, I had Mind Body Spirit Festival to keep me on task, busy and take me away from the TRIGGER, as well as the amazing GROUNDING POTION from the wonderful stand next door to us and my amazing BEAUTIFUL team.
If you are wondering why the BUSY – it was easy – BUSY meant no time to ponder on WHAT IFs and allowed the process to just process as it was going to without me in CRAZY TRIGGER mode.
That Saturday Rob had it removed, and we have been waiting for the results.
Now knowing how good I can be at manifesting – I have had to be sure that I stay on the positive side of the fence and do not allow myself to fall over.
It has been the AWARENESS of my TRIGGER that has been the thing that I had to work through.
I would also be lying if I said that a variety of outcomes have not crossed my mind and keeping them at bay has had its moments.
So, I would say to you if you are feeling uncertain, overwhelmed or have anxiety around an event or person then look at your triggers.
- Sit with it and I mean really sit in it. This is messy – awkward – challenging – yukky stuff.
- Let it rise within and embrace it and allow yourself to just experience what it is rising in you and for you.
- Remember that we are manifesting gurus and we do not want to bring this into our world, our destiny brings us enough stuff to deal with we do not need to manifest more of this into our lives.
- Touch the EARTH – GROUND yourself and walk on the grass, the earth and feel yourself reconnect to nature.
- Take a SALT SHOWER and remove the negative energy that wants to attach to your energy field. (email me for our recipe firstname.lastname@example.org)
- Allow the emotions you are feeling to just flow – it is never a good idea to hold it in and keep it locked inside.
- I can assure you that I am not a cute little crier when I finally get to that breaking point and the tears are flowing – no one is going to see that. You must be in my most inner circle and even then, it is rare. I am however an awesome crier in the shower and the car when I am on my own and I know no one is going to see or hear me. It is very rare that my kids will see me crying – WHY – because I have a little limiting belief, the belief that says I am weak if I do. I know working on it.
- After all that I shake myself off – take my Palo Santo wood and cleanse, clear the energy in our home with my holy bells and smudge and reset the intentions that I want my home to provide for us.
- Surround myself with those that truly know me, love me and will hold me if I need.
- Be aware that a TRIGGER is a moment or experience that I have to heal and finish so that I do not repeat the pattern. Its a pattern break that sets you FREE.
- Check my home ENVIRONMENT for energy that is not conducive to bringing us great health and positive QI.
Whatever the news I am manifesting we are going to be okay; If it is not the news we need, then that’s something we will face when and if we need to – NOT MANIFESTING.
I have faith that this is just a little bump in the road compared to two beautiful souls in my world that have challenges that far outweigh ours at the moment.
One who yesterday underwent major surgery, her healing journey reminds TO CLEAR THOSE TRIGGERS.
To be PRESENT = a generous blend of work, home, and play. HARMONY
If nothing else, moments like this cause us to evaluate what and where our ENERGY GOES.
I am blocking out a few weeks at the end of the month and through April to “RECALIBRATE ME” :
- Renourish and
I cannot maintain the current pace, I should not maintain it, and I need to be filling those moments with mindful connections.
Oh and yoga time with Helen @Zen Balance.
If you are feeling TRIGGERS and would like support then connect with me here on this link https://calendly.com/leannecarius/claritycall for your 15min FREE Chat – or email me at email@example.com – I would love to share with you the TIMELINE ™processes that I have used to remove the triggers and release the anxiety.
Thanks for getting to the end. I know long post but if it helps just one of you it has been worth sharing. Leanne.